


Meow?

by Megalomaniacal



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, this is garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 10:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12479584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Megalomaniacal
Summary: 21 Volunteers to investigate the strange noises coming from the closet.22 Begrudgingly adopts the cat that climbed in through the open window and hid in said closet.Post season 12 pretending that Mandy doesn't exist and Mac and Dennis happily share a room in their redone apartment





	Meow?

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.google.com/amp/fyotpprompts.tumblr.com/post/142762111385/domesticau-prompts/amp Is where I got the prompts from

"Dennis. Dennis, wake up." Mac whispered, reaching over to shake his roommate awake. He felt himself jump a little as another loud sound came from behind the closed closet door. "Come on, man, I think someone's in our house." 

Dennis groaned so loudly that Mac had to cover his mouth with his hand, eyes bulging, scared of whoever or whatever was in the closet hearing him. The older man blinked slowly up at him, eyebrows furrowed, lazily slapping his hand away. "Mac, what the hell dude-"

"Shh!" Mac interrupted, pointing frantically to the closet. "Something's in there!" 

"Jesus Christ, Mac, there's not-" Dennis cut off when he heard a loud scratching sound coming from behind the closet door. "Fuck."

"Told you!" Mac hissed, shaking Dennis. "You need to go check." 

Dennis gave him an extremely dirty look. "Aren't you supposed to be the buff, tough, strong one? You go check!"

"I don't want to get murdered!" Mac's voice went up an octave. "You want me to die!"

"You're gonna die if you keep whining because I'm gonna fucking strangle you! Now get in the closet!"

Mac sat up, crossing his arms and pouting down at his roommate. "That is rude, Dennis Reynolds. I'm already out of the closet. In fact, you harassed me to get out of the closet. I am not going back in."

"Not the gay closet- Jesus Christ, Mac, how dumb are you?"

Mac huffed, turning his back to Dennis. 

"Are you serious right now, Mac?" No reply. "Come on, dude, just go check the damn closet." When Mac continued ignoring him, Dennis huffed and stood up. "Fine. I'll check it."

"I hope the closet man eats you." Mac grumbled. 

"You sound like Charlie." Dennis snapped back, starting to walk over and freezing when he heard another loud noise coming from the closet. He swallowed hard, taking a moment to compose himself before walking up to the closet door, resting his hand on the doorknob and taking a deep breath before opening it. 

He heard himself scream, falling back onto the floor as a large, black, fuzzy monster lept out at him. Mac was screaming somewhere behind him, hiding beneath the blankets. After yelling and cursing and waving his hands around for a few minutes, Dennis felt a scratchy pink tongue rubbing against his cheek. 

He opened his eyes slowly, green ones staring back down at him. "A- agent?" He murmured, slowly sitting up to look at the scruffy cat clinging to his chest. "Special Agent Jack Bauer!"

"What?" Mac's voice came out muffled from under the blankets. 

"It's Special Agent Jack Bauer!" Dennis exclaimed, his scared expression quickly changing to one of unmeasurable happiness as he realized his old friend was back. "Jack! How'd you get in our closet?"

"You're- you're talking to a cat?" Mac poked his head out from under the blankets. "Dennis, dude, put him outside!" 

"No! He is an old friend." Dennis stood up, holding Jack in his arms. "It's been so long, Agent. I worried about you. Mac, he even still smells like gasoline!"

"Isn't he, like, five hundred years old now? Get rid of him!"

Dennis turned to Mac, eyes narrowing. "I am not getting rid of him. If you say that one more time, I will hunt down your old rat dog-"

"Poppins?!"

"- and I will cook him and make him into fucking stew. We are keeping Jack."

Mac sat up slowly, mouth gaping open in shock. "Jesus Christ, man, okay? You really want that thing?"

"Smells better than you." Dennis snapped, looking fondly down at the dirty cat. "What a handsome guy."

"Did you just call a fucking cat handsome?" 

Dennis glared at him again. "Mac, shut up. You don't understand the bond between man and cat." He gently stroked Agent Jack's matted black fur. "Mac, get up. It's his bed now."

"I'm your boyfriend!" Mac blurred out, exasperated. 

"You are not my boyfriend- dude- what the hell? We went on like, one fake date-"

"We have sex all the time, dude! We were literally fucking last night! You can't replace me with a cat!"

"We aren't boyfriends." Dennis continued petting the cat.

"You literally told that chick at the bar last week that we were boyfriends!"

"Okay, so maybe we are! But this is Jack and I's bed now. So move."

"We aren't keeping the cat!" 

"Yes we are! Special Agent Jack, attack him!" Dennis threw the cat towards Mac, Agent Jack meowing and Mac cursing as he landed on Mac's chest. Dennis looked dissapointed when Agent Jack settled down in Mac's lap, rubbing his head against his arm and purring. Mac was quite obviously fighting back a grin.

"God damnit, Jack!" Dennis cursed, running a hand through his hair. The cat seemed to like Mac, continuing to purr as he rubbed behind his ears. 

"... we can keep the cat." Mac mumbled.


End file.
